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your most redneck emergency repairs...


Pete M
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what might they be?  :D  bonus points if you've got pics.

 

in just this one photo you can see:

 

I drained out the last of my washer fluid bottle and routed the ccv hose to it as a stop gap to catch the copious amounts of oil spewing from my valve cover as I was traveling over the mountain passes on the way to Moab.  used a clothes hanger to hold it down for extra classiness :D  

 

that screw hole at the bottom of the pic is from when I screwed a small piece of metal to hold down that corner of the hood after the latch seized on me and I tore it out.  never needed it until I hit freeway speeds and then it would flop up and down.

 

and yes, that's tupperware keeping my relays dry.  :brows:  (technically that was planned so it doesn't count for this thread)

 

 

you can see the metal strip here:

 

 

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I'm sure I've done a few, but the one that comes to mind is on my first 99 Dodge the pivot bracket for the shifter (auto) broke both the bolts off the frame, leaving me unable to shift the truck into anything but neutral and drive, and I could only do so by moving it to the extreme ends of the travel.

 

I put two c-clamps on it and jammed it back into place so I could drive it around.  I later welded the bracket on.

 

You can see it in this image, just above the upper control arm, holes with no bolts in them at all.  I just cut the pivot off when I pulled the cab.

 

o4RrULtl.jpg

 

 

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Don't have a photo of my ghetto fix since I was more concerned about my safety while on the side of a major highway, but was driving my Ram 2500 Cummins a couple weekends ago doing a dump run.  Before that the truck hasn't been driven much and I had it parked on the side of my shop.  As I'm driving along with the heat on full blast (was about 25F out that morning) I noticed that the air blowing out of the vents was getting progressively warmer to the point where it was unbearably hot.  This led me to glance at my temperature gauge on the dash and sure enough it had just passed over the 210F mark and was still moving.  In this kind of cold weather this truck wouldn't even come close to the 210F mark so I knew something was wrong and pulled over and see what was up.  Right away it was obvious as I could smell antifreeze and saw it dripping from the lower radiator hose.  Upon closer inspection of the hose it was obvious that some animal (most likely a squirrel) chewed a couple holes in the hose and the pressure of the cooling system had opened them up a little bit causing a pretty steady leak.

 

Was going to just let the truck cool down and call AAA, but wasn't exactly dressed properly to sit in a cold truck and wait.  Hunted around the truck and luckily found a roll of black gorilla tape.  Wrapped up the hose as best I could and took off towards the AutoZone that had the hose in stock.  Truck still ran a bit hot, but never overheated and that tape actually held up pretty well and completely stopped the leak.

 

While I was shopping at Home Depot last weekend I passed a Gorilla Tape display, but then quickly turned around, bought three rolls and put one in each of our vehicles just in case the squirrels attack again.

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Here’s a couple jems from a while back. These happened on the same wheeling trip when the ol’ Ape was still around. Friend of mine got high centered and just went for it. He got loose and then ripped the crossmember out from his XJ. Ratchet strap to the rescue!

 

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The next day say it was pointed out to me that my leaf springs were fanning out way too much and then started twisting around. Maybe I should’ve gotten around to putting clamps on? Ah well.

 

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Not my repair nor an emergency repair but, when I purchased my '88 the PO had used drip irrigation tubing for the vacuum harness including those push on connectors. :nuts: I had an extra vac harness so as soon as I got it home it all got replaced, should have taken a pic.

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19 minutes ago, fiatslug87 said:

Not my repair nor an emergency repair but, when I purchased my '88 the PO had used drip irrigation tubing for the vacuum harness including those push on connectors. :nuts: I had an extra vac harness so as soon as I got it home it all got replaced, should have taken a pic.

 

Was the drip tubing the PO used the soaker/emitter type that has holes all the way down the length to allow water to drip out?

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no pics, but was wheeling with a group of buddies.  guy completely pretzel-ed his tie rod and he had to drive 5 hours home.  luckily it was a stock rod so bending it back into a normal shape was fairly easy.  turns out, a hilift jack handle will fit perfectly over a stock tie rod, especially if it still has a slight bend.  he ended up never taking that handle off and sold the jeep with it still on there lol. 

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39 minutes ago, fiatslug87 said:

I guess I have to give him credit that it was not.:dunno:

 

Drip irrigation tubing looks like some pretty rugged polyethylene flexible tubing. Might even be an upgrade over the plastic vacuum tubing the factory used if it's sized correctly. 

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6 minutes ago, HOrnbrod said:

 

Drip irrigation tubing looks like some pretty rugged polyethylene flexible tubing. Might even be an upgrade over the plastic vacuum tubing the factory used if it's sized correctly. 

 

The main lines that all of the drip tape branches into is pretty heavy duty stuff and can take a beating.  When I lived on my parents farm I'd have to punch all of the holes in that tubing to install the on/off valves for the multiple rows of drip tape.  It required a special round punch to get through the stuff and it wasn't always easy.

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Back in February of 2015 my Niva started having brake issues. One of the calipers was leaking, but it was my only ride to work so I drove on it anyway, just took things real easy until I could get a new calliper shipped from Ukraine. But then one day I lost the clutch. This wasn't the end of the world, and it still drove okay, starting in gear wasn't an issue, but I figured I could live without a clutch, or I could live with questionable brakes, but doing without both was irresponsible. I was also super broke at the time. I discovered the clutch had failed because the master cylinder had sucked in some air. The clutch and brakes have remote reservoirs (because the spare sits right above them I guess) and the 90° elbow for the clutch reservoir hose had snapped off. 

So what I did was to drill a hole in the top of the elbow, replace the rubber hose with some vinyl tubing I had from another project which I heated up with a lighter to expand over the remaining nub of the broken elbow, and used a hose clamp to secure it. That still leaked, so I took some chewing gum and used that to seal around the end of the nub. It worked. Three years later it's still like that because it still works, doesn't leak, and I'd have to replace the whole master cylinder because I can't get just the elbow, so I haven't bothered.

Don't have pics of the fix right now (the Lada's under a foot of snow right now) but this is the broken elbow:

 

image.jpeg

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Despite my fear of getting flamed out of this place for sheer stupidity, I'll post this.

 

I was very young, very dumb.  I had a Ford Maverick and decided one night to take it wheeling with a bunch of my buddies.  Way deep in the woods of southwestern PA, I put that Maverick in places it had no right or ability to ever be.  Got it good and stuck, and burned up the transmission trying to get out.  We sat there on the side of a mountain for a couple hours (at like 2AM), and decided to pour a beer into the tranny to see if it would even move.  Much to my surprise, it worked.....for about 1/4 mile, then the tranny started slipping again.  Stop, let it cool, pour in a little more beer and move another 1/4 mile, rinse and repeat.  We finally made it back up to the top of the mountain, and it was all downhill from that point on a semi-decent access road.  We made it home around daybreak.

 

That Maverick went to the junkyard the following week.  It gave it's life for us:laugh:

 

DISCLAIMER:  Do NOT drink and drive, or wheel (even in a Maverick).  I was incredibly stupid when I was younger.

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34 minutes ago, mjeff87 said:

Despite my fear of getting flamed out of this place for sheer stupidity, I'll post this.

 

I was very young, very dumb.  I had a Ford Maverick and decided one night to take it wheeling with a bunch of my buddies.  Way deep in the woods of southwestern PA, I put that Maverick in places it had no right or ability to ever be.  Got it good and stuck, and burned up the transmission trying to get out.  We sat there on the side of a mountain for a couple hours (at like 2AM), and decided to pour a beer into the tranny to see if it would even move.  Much to my surprise, it worked.....for about 1/4 mile, then the tranny started slipping again.  Stop, let it cool, pour in a little more beer and move another 1/4 mile, rinse and repeat.  We finally made it back up to the top of the mountain, and it was all downhill from that point on a semi-decent access road.  We made it home around daybreak.

 

That Maverick went to the junkyard the following week.  It gave it's life for us:laugh:

 

DISCLAIMER:  Do NOT drink and drive, or wheel (even in a Maverick).  I was incredibly stupid when I was younger.

 

Great story.  Reminded me of an experience I had.

 

A buddy and I were in Equador driving a HMMWV (Humvee) from the big city of Quito back to our base camp deep in the jungle.  We had strict orders not be alone out on roads after dusk due to the dangers of the FARC (a Narco terrorist unit) or other bad guys looking for trouble.   We had forded a large stream a half hour earlier in our journey.  We got to this huge hill that lasted like a half mile and began our incline.  Within less than a minute, we started overheating.

 

We pulled over to cool down and began stressing out that it was beginning to get dark.  We added some non-potable water we happen to have had and fired her back up only to have to pull over again near the top up of the hill.  We couldn't figure out why we were overheating.  Finally as I was standing over the engine urinating in the radiator, I began to see little tiny bits of plastic laying all over the engine.  It dawned on me that our plastic cooling fan had disinegrated when we hit the water too fast during our previous fording adventure.  No fan blades = no cooling when you're moving slow, huffing up a big hill. 

 

We apparently had enough urine and canteen water to get us up the hill and back to base camp without getting captured or killed just in time for our a$$ chewing for being out after dark.  

 

Good times, man.

pee.jpg.19e109f62984551cd31aae57ec80c5d7.jpg

 

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Rear window was leaking bad and I decided to pull it. Wouldn't ya know, a week later a hurricane came to visit. This was my emergency fix. Section of 1/2" ply, piece of acrylic, some sheet metal screws, a tube of polyurethane and she was air tight again, kinda. Although water did permeate through the plywood itself and my smoker vents still leaked like crazy she was perfectly driveable when I needed her to be.  :thumbsup:

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On 3/1/2018 at 10:52 AM, HOrnbrod said:

^^^  Most redneck so far. The "window" is even hinged for proper air circulation.   :laugh:

 

Stainless steel to boot. Has a latch inside to keep it closed too.

 

 

 

On 3/1/2018 at 12:34 PM, mjeff87 said:

That thing is screaming for matching body paint (bonus points if you apply it with a brush):laugh:

 

You crushed it with the flip up winder' too.

 

Kudos, dude.

 

Why didn't I think of that! :idea:

 

 

 

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Seeing how you guys respond to this I wonder how you guys would react to the tire swing I made out of black iron pipe and a shower drain.  :thinking:

 

Or maybe the D-rings on the front bumper I made from horse shoes welded together. 

 

Not exactly a repair, but still "redneck" I suppose, as much as I detest that label.

 

To its credit, It's been through hell and back and nothing has ever failed on it. 

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14 hours ago, ftpiercecracker1 said:

Seeing how you guys respond to this I wonder how you guys would react to the tire swing I made out of black iron pipe and a shower drain.  :thinking:

 

Or maybe the D-rings on the front bumper I made from horse shoes welded together. 

 

Not exactly a repair, but still "redneck" I suppose, as much as I detest that label.

 

To its credit, It's been through hell and back and nothing has ever failed on it. 

where does a shower drain come into play with gas pipe?

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14 hours ago, NHMJXJ said:

Does pouring a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the radiator count?  It worked.

 

I'd pour that stuff in a radiator before I drank it, so no, I'd not call that redneck.

 

Redneck would be drinking all of it, and then filling the radiator with what results from rapidly drinking beer. :roflmao::crazy:

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