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Found this on BestOf Craigslist- Dear Honda Owners


Kenosha Warrior
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Dear Honda owners,

I don't want to race you.

 

That's right, I'm un-interested in trying to challenge you and your faux supercar in a drag race between stoplights downtown. I don't know why you all feel the need to glare at me while the light is red. You don't have to change your grip on the steering wheel like its a pair of motorcycle handlebars, either. You especially don't need to rev your four-cylinder with its loud exhaust system because you might tempt me to want to race you.

 

I don't.

 

What really gets me, though, is with the abundance of similarly craptastic hondas out there, why do you want to race me? The way I figure it, you want to race everything in sight. My Jeep has less than 200 horsepower and the aerodynamics of a barn. However, I suppose the near-verticle air dam which is my windshield isn't neccesarily discouraging to someone who puts a god-damn wing on the back of a front wheel drive car. More downforce for the rear wheels then, eh? That way you can accelerate faster, right? Great work, dip$#!&.

 

But seriously. I don't get it. I don't ask you to go drive trails with me. I don't wave and say 'lets go haul @$$ through a mud pit'. Sure, I spend about as much time off pavement as you do on the track, but at least I can tell the difference between a race car and a 4x4. Does my Jeep look like a challenge or something? Do you and your honda friends get together and say 'Dood! I just beat that Jeep with the big tires and low gears! I'm so fast!'

 

The way I figure it, your car sucks so much, you can't beat any of the other Hondas, and sure as hell don't want to admit defeat. Instead of buying a genuinely fast car, you choose to get your rocks off racing easy vehicles in your piece of $#!&. Way to go, badass! I'm proud of you! Why don't we get together and beat up some kids later. I'll let you sucker punch a baby. It will be hard core.

 

Seriously, though. Please, please, the next time you see me, or any other non-challenging vehicle at a light, don't antagonize them and encourage them to 'race.' Instead, pull your head our of your @$$, and realize that your hatchback is probably faster than a minivan, delivery truck, recreational vehicle, bicycle, u-haul, and other similar underpowered non/aerodynamic vehicles. Oh, and don't forget, you're probably faster than me, too.

 

Go play some more Gran Turismo, and quit being a jackass.

 

Thank you.

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haha iam guessin someone bothered you at a light?

 

little hondas are bad...revin their engines at you...but i was at a gas station one time.. not too long ago.. i was filling up my black truck back when i drove it daily.. remember i had 33s and all on it.. anyways..i was fillin up and some kids i say kids bc they had to be 16-19.. iam 21.. lol.. pulled up in a i think it was a lifted ford f150.. 33s or 35s.....they commented my truck askin about my boggers...which i had LTBs.... then asked me if i wanted to race them ...by then i was already annoyed and just had to laugh at them and say... look at my truck..look at yours... THEY ARENT FOR RACING YOU IDIOTS... :mad: :thwak:

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haha iam guessin someone bothered you at a light?

 

little hondas are bad...revin their engines at you...but i was at a gas station one time.. not too long ago.. i was filling up my black truck back when i drove it daily.. remember i had 33s and all on it.. anyways..i was fillin up and some kids i say kids bc they had to be 16-19.. iam 21.. lol.. pulled up in a i think it was a lifted ford f150.. 33s or 35s.....they commented my truck askin about my boggers...which i had LTBs.... then asked me if i wanted to race them ...by then i was already annoyed and just had to laugh at them and say... look at my truck..look at yours... THEY ARENT FOR RACING YOU IDIOTS... :mad: :thwak:

 

HAHA next time tell them yes, proceed to nearest speed trap, let them peel out while you drive nomally and watch the fun that follows :D

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I'd laugh the day one decided to race someone who decided to swap in a Z06 Vette engine into a Yugo. The little hoda driver would $#!& their pants. :D

 

Sounds like a project for me... Just to say I did it, and to piss off some little ricers...

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I'd laugh the day one decided to race someone who decided to swap in a Z06 Vette engine into a Yugo. The little hoda driver would $#!+ their pants. :D

 

Sounds like a project for me... Just to say I did it, and to piss off some little ricers...

 

the volvo shop up the street (bro used to own a volvo and built a good relationship with them) has built 3 volvo stationwagon (late80s boxy body style) 5.0s, one of them has 100k miles on it SINCE the swap... the other one has full custom exhaust/headers, thick swaybars upgraded suspension and nice rubbers... that one's a suprise :brows:

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I'd laugh the day one decided to race someone who decided to swap in a Z06 Vette engine into a Yugo. The little hoda driver would $#!+ their pants. :D

 

Sounds like a project for me... Just to say I did it, and to piss off some little ricers...

 

the volvo shop up the street (bro used to own a volvo and built a good relationship with them) has built 3 volvo stationwagon (late80s boxy body style) 5.0s, one of them has 100k miles on it SINCE the swap... the other one has full custom exhaust/headers, thick swaybars upgraded suspension and nice rubbers... that one's a suprise :brows:

Still not a Yugo with a big @$$, american muscle engine that could probably take on 90% of your ferraris out ther, it would just look ugly as hell...

 

I know where a Yugo is for sale about 20 miles way, anybody know where a rear end wrecked Z06 is?

I'll take on the ricers! :D

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One day, I was on my way home from the local grocery store. In front of me was some kid in a early 90s mustage 5.0. The kid was just acting retarted at the light, like he wanted to jump the light or something which I realy would have ignored, except he did it like 6-7 times before the light changed, hell he's just ridning his clutch

:thwak:

That combined with the stupid stickers he had all over the back window just sort of, well, just pushed some sorta button in me.

 

Ok, so I'm in my wife's Cherokee, it's a 2001 limited, 4.0 with an automatic.

 

So for some reason I couldn't control myself. when the light changed the kid took off, (well as best as his beat on old mustange could take off), so I'm on his tail way to close to be considered 'safe' following distance.

 

He sees me and now trys to 'leave me in the dust', the whole time we are going down this windy little country road. the speed limit was 30 and we are flying at almost double that. I know I'm retarded too, for driving like that. but the whole three miles of back road, I'm on his tail way to close to be considered 'safe' following distance.

jamminz.gif

 

The whole time this Kid is all over the road trying to "bank" his turns, Meantime I'm hardly leaving my lane, and on his tail way to close to be considered 'safe' following distance.

 

We come to a stop sign, and both make the same turn, and again he takes off. And I'm on his tail way to close to be considered 'safe' following distance.

 

He then makes a left turn shortly down the road and I go straight, about 100 yards up the road I pull in at the local beer distributor/deli

As I'm walking into the beer distributor, I see the mustange pull in the parking lot. The kid parked and went into the attached convience store, he didn't even realize It was me in the lot, But there could be no mistake as to all those stupid decals and stickers on his beat old mustange.

 

Now where he made that turn and I went straight, he would of had to drive quite a bit before he got to any houses or anything, so he must of just turned hoping I'd go straight, and then turned arround after I passed.

He didn't figure on me being at the deli/beer distributor.

So I put my beer in the cherokee, chuckled to myself and drove the rest of the way home at a more rational speed.

 

To be fair to the Kid though, you could tell his Mustange was just beat, like beat on from doing burnouts and riding the clutch and other STUPIDITY.

 

Now if I was in my Wrangler with the 2.5L and it's 260,000 miles, it would have been a fair race. :brows:

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I had a Mazda Mx-6 auto 2.5l v6 most of the time a had civic boiz try and race me on the highway... that wasn't a fair race cuz mine was built for highway driving i never really got to see anyones reaction because i was always putting a mile or two between myself and them before I'd let off

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Hi, my name is Justin, and I'm a recovering ricer. :roll:

 

before i bought my first YJ, i had a 240sx (still my favourite car, i'd like to have another just for cruisin around in). anywho, when i had my 240 for sale, this kid (17,18?) and his two buddies come lookin at it. they want to know "how fast does it go?" "well, it cuts out at about 195km/h". they ask why i'm selling it. i point to my 87 YJ with 33" boggers on it (4.2 carbed, 3.07's), "new toy" i say. "how fast does that go?" they say. huh? u kidding? how fast? "a solid 100km/h with a good run downhill and a strong tailwind" seriously. "you, backhand your buddy for asking a stupid question will you?" ok, i didn't say that last part, but i was thinking it.

 

confession: i've fallen off the wagon. i bought an 03 Mazdaspeed Protege last year. nothing says trying to re-live my teenage years like a turbocharger, spicy orange paint (that's the name Mazda has for the colour-spicy orange :nuts: ), and a big spoiler blocking most of the rear view (factory piece, i usually make fun of ppl with those) ZOOM ZOOM BABY! jamminz.gif

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Yeah, they always seem to want to challange my 96 El dorado at the lights. I'll give them half an intertsection jump (chirp) and pull even as we cross out of the intersection. I usually yell out "Do you wanty to try half a block at the next light" They never respond, I think the howl of them tires and smok-un rubber scares the s--- out of em. NO BALLS I guess. Pisses my wife off though as she always yells "For christ's sake your 70 years old, when you gonna quit this nonsense". I always respond "What the hell, if you hadn't given up sex at 60 I wouldn't have to look for cheap thrills.". :eek:

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Pisses my wife off though as she always yells "For christ's sake your 70 years old, when you gonna quit this nonsense". I always respond "What the hell, if you hadn't given up sex at 60 I wouldn't have to look for cheap thrills.". :eek:

 

 

now that is some funny $#!& :cheers:

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Pisses my wife off though as she always yells "For christ's sake your 70 years old, when you gonna quit this nonsense". I always respond "What the hell, if you hadn't given up sex at 60 I wouldn't have to look for cheap thrills.". :eek:

 

 

now that is some funny $#!& :cheers:

 

+2 you are the man!

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Was riding with my dad when I was about 12 years old. He had an old '77 chevy 3/4 ton truck with the usual rust & rattles. We're sitting at a stoplight & up pulls this Camaro. Same story. Revving & jumping at the light. I don't know if they wanted to race or were just being ignorant. Anyway, light goes green & they do a nice burnout. To my suprise dad stomps on it & blows their doors off to the next light. Guess they didn't figure that old truck had a "warmed up" 454 under the hood :brows:

 

 

Oh. Did I forget to mention we were on the way home from Sears with a brand new washing machine in the bed of the truck? How humiliating would it be to not only get beat, but beat by an old truck carrying a washing machine. hehe

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Pisses my wife off though as she always yells "For christ's sake your 70 years old, when you gonna quit this nonsense". I always respond "What the hell, if you hadn't given up sex at 60 I wouldn't have to look for cheap thrills.". :eek:

 

 

now that is some funny $#!& :cheers:

 

+2 you are the man!

hahahahaa :cheers: +3

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