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Eleven Lame Excuses for Not Joining the Military


HOrnbrod
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I thought this was, err, interesting...

 

“I wanted to enlist in the Marines, but my mom wouldn’t let me.”
“I almost enlisted but then the first Gulf War started; f**k that $#!&.”
“I talked to a recruiter once and he said I had too much potential to waste my life away in the military.”
“I went to basic but got PTSD in the first week, so I had to quit.”
“I almost enlisted but I heard they make you do push-ups everyday at basic.”
“I don’t think I could stand being told what to do all the time.”
“I almost joined the Marine Corps but I kind of didn’t want to die.”
“I couldn’t have the drill sergeants get in my face. If they yelled at me I’d probably punch them.”
“I didn’t want to have to cut my dreads.”
“My girlfriend freaked out and started going on about how she’d leave me because the military is basically a bunch of murderers and losers.”

"I didn't want my uniform color clashing with my eyes."

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“I couldn’t have the drill sergeants get in my face. If they yelled at me I’d probably punch them.”

 

I never have understood why drill sergeants act like ... drill sergeants. But, I don't understand why a lot of people act the way they do.

 

Punch them? What a wimp. I went through Army Basic back when we still trained with the M14, which was a full-size battle rifle with a heavy steel action and a heavy wooden stock. During Basic my platoon's drill sergeant got in one guy's face more than the guy liked, so he grabbed his rifle by the barrel and swung it at the DI's head. The DI was lucky he saw it coming in time to duck, or we probably would have found his head in the next county. The DI took the blow on his shoulder, and it landed hard enough that it broke the walnut stock of the rifle.

 

We were all amazed that the trainee didn't get court martialed. I'm glad, because the DI had it coming. He was what polite society reg=fers to as a Richard Cranium.

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When I finished basic training, we were one of the first outfits to get a firearm instead of a bow and arrow.

The DI was ALWAYS in my face. Claimed high heels didn't go with class A s

Was gigged every inspection for having buffalo sh*t on my bow and arrow.

Found out "RUN" was not the proper response when told the enemy was advancing.

:rotf:

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  • 3 weeks later...

The point of the DI yelling at you is to find your breaking point and to see if you can maintain your composure/bearing under stress. People just take it way too personal or to heart when he/she is just doing their job. They are professional leaders who lead by example and should and won't ask anything of you that they are not capable of doing themselves. They can either be one of your greatest teachers or your worst enemy, the choice is yours. I think its ridiculous how man of these kids cry and complain about how "he/she is mean" or "he/she yelled at me and hurt my feelings" really?! Its the military NOT super happy fun time. You signed the line, now suck it up buttercup. HOOAH!

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My only regret was getting out too damn early, and not going back in when I did get out.

 

I agree, in one ear and out the other, the Military is not a touchy-feely place ... there is a job to do, and when it gets done it ain't gonna be pretty.

 

 

My wife keeps saying I don't get worked up about things like she does (sometimes good, sometimes bad, is what it is) ... previous experience prevents me from "getting worked up" about relatively minor concerns, and allows me to effectively focus on the task at hand ... is the way I prefer to explain it.

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Honestly, probably not, we were a less "entitled" generation than what I see nowadays. Not knocking on the younger folk here, but I do see a lot of younger kids that have no understanding of the work=rewards mentality... It's more whine=whatever I scream loud enough for... I see more and more of it. We used to eat them for breakfast and crap a troop when we could... But now you have to bend to the feelings and 'be nice?'

 

I was training kids to destroy with efficiency and blow crap up if it got in the way, why would I need to be "nice"

Where is the nice when your leg is 40' away? Or there is a gaping hole where you used to pull the lint from? That the reality of an infantry position, 3.5 second life expectancy in combat, that's the job... That why drill instructors ride yer @$$ and sometime make you do meaning tasks with no where near enough time to accomplish it (although when pushed properly it always managed to get done). Mommy ain't gonna help fix the boo-boo here boys, it a a man up and get to it game with a horrible retirement policy. We did it for everyone else, our section, our platoon, our company, our country...

Sadly there is more respect for the service down south of my border... Wish it weren't so,

 

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome...

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I'll add mine;

"You don't have what it takes!"

 

I spoke with the Airforce Recruiter on the phone for a pretty long time (we took the ASVAB tests in school so all the recruiters were calling all of us)

towards the end of a pretty decent conversation on joining the AirForce I mentioned I have Diabetes (type I)

he said "ah, sorry I can't touch you, we can't be responsible for that, tho you sound like a nice kid good-luck-bye"

 

The next day the Marine Recruiter called,

and spoke very loudly and enthusiastly;

"HI JIM I'M SO AND SO FROM THE UNITED STATES MARINES ARE YOU READY TO JOIN THE BEST AND etc etc etc"

I responded, sorry, but I have diabetes....

 

to which he replied (loudly and enthusiasticly) "SO YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?!?"

 

Lol, and I never got to join the Marines. :) 

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It's good you mentioned that to the recruiters as the medical criteria is cut-and-dry and you saved Uncle some $$ on the physical exam. The biggest show-stopper however is the emotional/mental makeup of recruits that can't be tested except through the rigors of boot camp / recruit training. Thats the job of the DIs, Company Commanders, whatever they are called in the branch you join; to weed out the non-hackers and slackers before it's too late. That's why they are in your face, screaming, dropping you down for push-ups, whatever. To get rid of the deadwood. If you can't make it through boot camp, you don't belong.

 

Now there's no more "laying hands on" as in the past. The emphasis is more on counseling than extreme physical or mental "testing". Thus more deadwood slips through boot camp. It takes a special individual to graduate well qualified recruits consistently while staying within the boundaries that are imposed on them. I have a lot of respect for the guys and gals who can do it well. It's a tough job.

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