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Mike HUckabee


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Still not convinced by Chuck Norris' call for more Mike Huckabees in the White House? Well, here's some more facts to wrap your mind around...

Mike Huckabee supports the death penalty; but when you're on Mike Huckabee's bad side, death is more like a prize.

 

Mike Huckabee vows to repair the hole in the ozone layer as soon as Jesus returns his ladder.

 

When Mike Huckabee is president they'll have to change it to an "oval office with a ginormous protrusion."

 

Mike Huckabee plays the bass with a groove so deep, entire cities fall into it.

 

Rudy Guiliani's lead in the polls will vanish when it's revealed that he is just Mike Huckabee's hand dressed up with a Senior Wences paint and prop suit.

 

Mike Huckabee is pro-life. You would be too if your average ejaculate contained six dozen fully formed, highly intelligent, devastatingly beautiful human babies.

 

Mike Huckabee attributes his velvety speaking voice to the terrorist's blood he gargles every morning.

 

Mike Huckabee scared the world and we turned to food for comfort. He didn't get thinner; we got fatter.

 

The rest of the world supports building a wall on the U.S. border to keep Mike Huckabee in.

 

Mike Huckabee isn't running for President of the United States. The United States is running for Mike Huckabee's b*@$£.

 

The only thing purer than Mike Huckabee is this pound of China White I have (that Mike won't snort.)

 

If a child ask why it rains, tell him it means God is crying. If he asks why God is crying, tell him it's because Mike Huckabee beat the crap out of Him.

 

Mike Huckabee's right eye goes that way because it's afraid of him.

 

When Mike Huckabee became governor of Arkansas, the portrait of Bill Clinton in the State Capitol erased itself to get away.

 

Mike Huckabee may be diabetic, but sugar tests itself for levels of him.

 

Mike Huckabee doesn't pray; he suggests.

 

Mike Huckabee would be higher in the polls, but the Bible says you can't speak His name.

 

Mike Huckabee can eliminate the budget deficit by selling his protection.

 

Chuck Norris has been perfecting his body for 30 years in the hopes that he will one day be strong enough to shake Mike Huckabee's hand.

 

Mike Huckabee plans to reduce carbon emissions by powering the city of Washington with his biceps.

 

When the levees broke, Mike Huckabee provided shelter for one-third of New Orleans under his foreskin.

 

Mike Huckabee doesn't support universal healthcare because there's only so much of his healing ball-sweat to go around.

 

Mike Huckabee will quiet unrest in the Middle East simply by flicking the lights off and on once or twice with a dour expression.

 

Before they met Mike Huckabee, they were called the Unbeatles.

 

The only person ever to beat Mike Huckabee in a street fight was Mike Huckabee (with some help from Mike Huckabee). And even then it was close.

 

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You may be wondering why Chuck Norris has decided to throw his massive support behind Mike Huckabee for president. Turns out there's a bunch of reasons...

When Mike Huckabee participated in the Iowa Straw Poll, they had to re-name it the Iowa Iron Pole.

 

Mike Huckabee can cut taxes... with his penis.

 

Stephen Hawking told Mike Huckabee the universe was 12 billion years old once. Once.

 

Mike Huckabee lost 100 pounds of body fat by eating it.

 

Jesus asked Mike Huckabee for career advice, but Huckabee was too busy body-slamming Satan.

 

Mike Huckabee flosses his teeth with the bones of abortion doctors at least twice a day.

 

Mike Huckabee is forbidden to interfere with human history.

 

Top scientists believe global warming is a direct consequence of Mike Huckabee getting angry.

 

Mike Huckabee opposes ghey marriage because every man on earth wants to marry him.

 

Mike Huckabee won't repeal the Estate Tax out of sympathy for the families of his victims.

 

Mike Huckabee has completed six marathons, two of which aren't until next year.

 

Fred Thomspon, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani all got cancer because Mike Huckabee looked at them too hard.

 

If Mike Huckabee is elected, he'll bring all the troops home--he can handle this himself.

 

If Mike Huckabee had been around in Biblical times, the symbol of Christianity would be Pontius Pilate with a cross up his @$$.

 

Mike Huckabee would've stopped the attack of 9/11, but there was an asteroid hurtling toward Earth that day.

 

Mike Huckabee doesn't talk in sound bites; he speaks in decibel munches.

 

Charles Darwin was actually born the same year as Mike Huckabee, but Huckabee punched him back to the 1800s.

 

If Mike Huckabee had been President, the levees in New Orleans never would've broke, because Katrina would've known better.

 

Mike Huckabee's philosophy on showing mercy is "abstinence-only."

 

Atheism can be cured by Mike Huckabee's farts.

 

Mike Huckabee is so powerful, even the ugly, unwanted, weight he discarded is running for president: Dennis Kucinich.

 

Most bass players tune to a low E; Mike Huckabee tunes to F U.

 

The 1976 Tangshan earthquake killed over 250,000 people. Nine months later, the Huckabees welcomed their first son.

 

Mike Huckabee spelled backwards is "Jesus Loves You." It's not? I dare you to tell that to Mike Huckabee.

 

Mike Huckabee is only running for President because he's reached his term limit as Grand Master of Space and Time

 

Mike Huckabee opposes the right to die... painlessly.

 

Mike Huckabee is running the greenest campaign transporting his entire staff from state to state on his c*ck and huge rolling balls.

 

In Soviet Russia, President runs for Mike Huckabee!

 

Fifteen years ago Mike Huckabee cured "Andrew" Coulter of his vestigial male genitalia.

 

If elected, Mike Huckabee will replace the Justice Department with his fists.

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i'm telling you guys. if you check out ron paul and what his message is you'll more than likely go for him. if you guys like the idea of less government. no income tax. and you like your freedom and liberties. the majority of the candidates are criminals, and some are part of the cfr, and anyone who is in the cfr IS a criminal.

 

don't know what party you guys are for. but ron paul is a libertarian, but he's THE most conservative candidate running under the republican party. a very intelligent person. a doctor. and a veteran from vietnam. he's all about individual rights, and the american people. just check him out.

 

mccain wants to stay in iraq for another 100 years. all the other candidates think that this "war on terror" is a good idea and want to stay course and let more troops die in this worthless, unconstitutional war. the troops don't want to stay. they want to come HOME. so if anything vote for ron paul and he'll bring our boys home, so we don't have to see anymore american casualties. he's the ONLY candidate that will bring ALL of our troops home to protect our country. he's received more military donations than any other candidate. veterans love him. people who like their freedom and liberties love him, because of his message.

 

i don't care if you guys don't agree with me. but you guys should check him out.

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a lot more impressive than any other candidate. at least he's not a criminal like the rest of them.

 

I'm a total Ron Paul supporter too. The only candidate with an ounce of integrity. Here's my favorite Paul quote when he left Congress in 1984 (he returned in 1996)

 

"Special interests have replaced the concern that the Founders had for general welfare. Vote trading is seen as good politics. The errand-boy mentality is ordinary, the defender of liberty is seen as bizarre. It's difficult for one who loves true liberty and utterly detests the power of the state to come to Washington for a period of time and not leave a true cynic."

 

Some interesting factoids:

He's never voted for an unbalanced budget

He's never voted for a tax increase

He's declines the congressional pension

He's voted against every congressional pay raise

He's never gone on a lobbyist paid junket

He wants to eliminate the federal income tax and the IRS

He wants a constitutional sized government that can be supported without the income tax

He believes in a non-interventionist foreign policy.

He voted against authorizing the Iraq war (only congress can declare war)

He supports our constitutional rights against those who would use national security as justification for taking away our rights.

 

Now he's not perfect but he's damn sight better than any of the others. My opinion, of course.

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right on man. jamminz.gif

 

i think it's less of an opinion and more of a fact on ron paul. he's the only one up there who isn't a flip-flopper and he has stuck behind his principles never changing them.

 

i was doing some research and found a page of some of the candidates and their advisers:

http://www.democracynow.org/2008/1/3/vo ... _linked_us

http://www.rense.com/general80/eelc.htm

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You are all so impressed with him :D

I don't think he has a chance of winning, and if he does he'll have trouble getting the jerks in congress to work with him.

I'm glad to see you all taking an active roll in the voting process, so don't get me wrong,,,,,

It's just that

 

 

:mad: I'm so disgusted with the whole political system in this country. :headpop:

 

I'm sick of the constant news coverage, I'm sick of the 'tell-a-marketing', or should I say 'Tell-a-Campaigning' messages that have already started.

In frank I'm just plain disgusted. :cry:

 

 

It's a shame but seems to me that our political system shouldn't be based on a system of He isn't as bad as the other guy.

 

I have Voted in the past 5 presidential elections, and I have yet to see a candidate I actually thought would be a good president.

Mind you thats my own opinion.

 

To be honest I haven't made up my mind yet as to who I am going to vote for.

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You are all so impressed with him :D

I don't think he has a chance of winning, and if he does he'll have trouble getting the jerks in congress to work with him.

I'm glad to see you all taking an active roll in the voting process, so don't get me wrong,,,,,

It's just that

 

 

:mad: I'm so disgusted with the whole political system in this country. :headpop:

 

I'm sick of the constant news coverage, I'm sick of the 'tell-a-marketing', or should I say 'Tell-a-Campaigning' messages that have already started.

In frank I'm just plain disgusted. :cry:

 

 

It's a shame but seems to me that our political system shouldn't be based on a system of He isn't as bad as the other guy.

 

I have Voted in the past 5 presidential elections, and I have yet to see a candidate I actually thought would be a good president.

Mind you thats my own opinion.

 

To be honest I haven't made up my mind yet as to who I am going to vote for.

 

Yo JeeperJ, yeah I'm impressed with him but realistic too. There is no way he'll get elected and your comments about the "system" are right on the money. Ironic, because that's what the system is all about now: money. I've said it a hundred times: "I'm so sick of voting for the lesser of two evils."

 

And if Hillary is elected I might just have to go to :Canadaflag:

 

Argh! :headpop:

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You are all so impressed with him :D

I don't think he has a chance of winning, and if he does he'll have trouble getting the jerks in congress to work with him.

 

...

 

:mad: I'm so disgusted with the whole political system in this country. :headpop:

That's the problem. The two-party political system has resulted in a massive government that pays no attention to the people. The parties essentially exist to preserve themselves, and underneath the rhetoric you'll find they are both the same.

 

Example 1: Republicans historically have been the more fiscally conservative party. The Bush administration has done things that Democrats wouldn't have dared try a few years ago.

 

Example 2: Senator Joe Lieberman of CT was a Democrat. He was AlGore's running mate (albeit apparently not AlGore's partner in inventing the Internet). He voted FOR the Iraq invasion, he became an independent, and he's now backing McCain.

 

There hasn't been an election I can remember when there was a major party candidate I wanted to vote FOR. That's what the major parties have brought us to. It's always a case of "voting for the lesser of two evils," or voting against that guy because you believe THIS guy's statements about how bad the other guy would be. They have us terrified to vote FOR a third party or independent candidate because "you're just throwing your vote away and guaranteeing that ___ will get elected."

 

Cow patties. I'm tired of voting against bad candidates, only to have to cast a vote for another bad candidate to do it. I'm tired of choosing between "the lesser of two evils." It's time we all start voting our conscience, and encouraging everyone else to vote their conscience. Pick someone you want to vote FOR, and vote that way. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. That;s the ONLY way we will ever break the strangle hold the two major parties have on us.

 

If that means votong for Ron Paul even though he probably doesn't have an ice cube's chance, so what? If he gets 5% of the vote this time, then he (or another honest candidate) gets 8% the next time, sooner or later the "powers that be" in Washington may sit up and take notice.

 

There have been two recent elections in which there was nobody else worth voting for, so I wrote in my own name. Why? Because I could honestly vote FOR me, whereas either of the major candidates would only have been a vote against the other candidate.

 

We're probably going to get Hillary this time, but I'll vote for Ron Paul anyway.

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so I wrote in my own name. Why? Because I could honestly vote FOR me, whereas either of the major candidates would only have been a vote against the other candidate.

 

Being that I work for the people :D I would like to run for White House some day, and if I ever do I will make sure every :USAflag: has a Jeep in the garage and a Steak on the grill :cheers:

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so I wrote in my own name. Why? Because I could honestly vote FOR me, whereas either of the major candidates would only have been a vote against the other candidate.

 

Being that I work for the people :D I would like to run for White House some day, and if I ever do I will make sure every :USAflag: has a Jeep in the garage and a Stake on the grill :cheers:

 

tent stake? :D or maybe wooden stake to kill vampires?

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so I wrote in my own name. Why? Because I could honestly vote FOR me, whereas either of the major candidates would only have been a vote against the other candidate.

 

Being that I work for the people :D I would like to run for White House some day, and if I ever do I will make sure every :USAflag: has a Jeep in the garage and a Stake on the grill :cheers:

 

tent stake? :D or maybe wooden stake to kill vampires?

 

 

:oops: Why you should not surf at work ;)

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Well fact is I have been voting for the third party candidate who had the best chance of getting the system to notice that there are disgruntled voters out there. In fact 2004 was the first time I ever voted for a rep/dem. And the only reason I voted the way I did was I was AFRAID of what the other IDIOT would be worse, (and they kicked Nadar off the Ballot in PA).

The Powers in Washington don't give a Rats @$$ about Ron Paul or anyone who gets even 10-15% of the vote.

They have the Majority of the American public BRAINWASHED. Face it BIG BUSINESS is pulling the strings of the politicians.

BIG BUSINESS controls the media and thereby influences with the propaganda.

 

I am now at the point where I think I might start voting for the communist party!

 

And yes If Hillary gets elected, I to will move out of this country!

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i never would have thought growing up that i would see the demise of the V8 engine but now with the CAFE standards (trucks as well as cars must be at 35mpg by 2019) it is likely to happen in the next ten years. This will spell death of many of our favorite cars and trucks as well as a major jump in expense. ill vote for anyone who can set this right.

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well i sent in my vote for ron paul yesterday for the primaries here in washington. i'll see how well he does on the 19th. as much as this country needs someone like him in office, i am doubtful he's going to get there. we'll see another criminal come into office and destroy the country even more.

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no, it's not the answer to the countries problems. but there's no reason we should be over there and for our boys to be killed. if they felt like there was a need to be there, they would probably be sending mccain all their donations, instead of ron paul, but there are more military personals sending donations to ron paul than ANY other candidate, that's gotta mean something.

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