Things I have learned.

[Automan2164]

I was thinking about this today, while under a plow truck, dripping cold salt water into my face. Feel free to add on anything you wish. Or if one really speaks to you, tell which number, and post up why. Things I have learned while working on vehicles:

 

1. Anything and everything when dropped topside, will fall to the geometric dead center of the floor under the vehicle.

2. Cut ends of zip ties in a pinch, are used by surgeons who need something sharper than a scalpel.

3. If it touches salt, its gonna rust.

4. Rust does NOT go away, unless you cut it out.

5. When it doubt, ask someone else. It is a guarantee that they will come over, and find the problem almost immediately, and make you look like a bloomin' idiot.

6. If you're under a vehicle, with all the wrenches you need, fate will create a bolt you've never seen before, and make you get back up to get the only wrench you knew you didn't need.

7. When laying on a creeper, your pantlegs will become water seeking devices.

8. If it's on a plow truck, no matter how new it is, or how much you coated the part with anti-seize before, it ain't coming out or off without the torch.

9. To everyone but the mechanic, grease zircs are just for show.

10. If you drop anything topside, and it doesn't fall on to the floor (see note 1), it will find a fan shroud, lower radiator support, skid plate, frame rail, or black hole to fall in. Usually whatever is hardest to get to.

11. Try as you might, there are some things you can't do without an extra set of hands.

12. The test light is more suited as a tool for smores than modern cars.

13. The moment you start grabbing a wrench, and try to give a bolt the gusto, you are signing your knuckles up for a cage match with the hardest object within reach.

14. If you are using a grease gun, no matter how careful you are, will find grease on some ridiculous area of your clothes later.

15. It could be the most common part in the world, but when you need it, parts stores in a 100 mile radius will be magically out of stock.

16. If it's a deal too good to be true, there's a reason why no one else has taken it.

17. Never EVER say, this is going to be easy. Because the universe hears that, and it won't be. Rookie mistake. (Say that near me, and it also a good way to invite a thrown wrench.)

18. An aluminum rim will gather scale on the bead faster than you can say scale.

19. Blood, sweat, or tears, you will leave at least one, and you don't get the pleasure to choose.

20. No matter how clean you try to keep the garage, resistance is futile.

21. If you set it down, and say "I have to remember I set this here" is a good way to never see it again.

22. Electric fan blades are a close second to number 2.

23. If you want a vehicle bad enough, god will let it show up in the hands of someone who trashed it, and wants too much.

24. An unlocked tool box has tools that grow legs.

25. Leaks will appear as if they come out of no where.

26. Boots double as slag magnets.

27. Shorts, although comfortable in the summer, have no place in the shop.

28. Do a side job as a favor once, is like giving your money to a crackhead. It only starts with one, and before you know it, everyone and their momma wants a handout.

29. Never, EVER work on something the owner has tried to fix themselves... Unless your pay rate involves something with the word "thousands" in it.

30. Comancheclub is king. :D

 

Well, I have to take a break from that... It took me about 3 hours of watching TV and sitting on the couch. I just wrote them down as I thought about them. Lets make this thread copyright of comancheclub.com. ;)

 

Whew... That was a lot of writing.

Rob L.

[87Warrior]

So true, so true :ack:

 

I simply follow my father's words of advice:

"There's never anything easy" :smart:

[jpdocdave]

if you have a drain pan under the vehicle, whatever you drop goes in it, no matter where you drop it.

 

if my first day in a shop was in winter, and a nice wad of slush came off a car and went down my back, or in my ear, as it does so often, i would be doing something else these days. word to the wise mechanic, just do what i finally do these days, to the idiots car that has 6" of snow on it, and they just turned the wipers on and drove to the shop, drive around back, and remove all the snow, if you don't it will end up on your head. and if there's no snow on the car, still check the fenders where it all piles up behind the wheels, remove it before it goes in the shop :thumbsup:

 

my boss in the first shop i worked in always said "if it was easy, everyone would be doin it"

[BJA814]

When you think something can't be taken apart, just remember....."it didn't grow from a seed."

 

Someone spent alot of time and money to put those "extra parts" on originally. Better double, triple check before you say you don't need them.

[jtdesigns]

Helping my buddy out the other day I was under his car and drip.. a drop of water landed right in my ear,, right straight to my ear drum it felt like,,, you wanta know how much a pain in the booty it is to try and get water out your ear with gloves on???? plus I'm kinda like weird about water in my ears it freaks me out a bit..

[dakal]

i have had everyone happen to me. so true so true. :agree:

[JeepcoMJ]

I agree with everything here...

[jimoshel]

You have a 1,260 piece tool set . one tool is missing. Guess which one.

[Pete M]

Helping my buddy out the other day I was under his car and drip.. a drop of water landed right in my ear,, right straight to my ear drum it felt like,,, you wanta know how much a pain in the booty it is to try and get water out your ear with gloves on???? plus I'm kinda like weird about water in my ears it freaks me out a bit..

 

 

rust, grease, dirt, and oil all fall from my trucks with enough regularity that I generally have earplugs in when I do any underside work. :fs1:

[jtdesigns]

Helping my buddy out the other day I was under his car and drip.. a drop of water landed right in my ear,, right straight to my ear drum it felt like,,, you wanta know how much a pain in the booty it is to try and get water out your ear with gloves on???? plus I'm kinda like weird about water in my ears it freaks me out a bit..

 

 

rust, grease, dirt, and oil all fall from my trucks with enough regularity that I generally have earplugs in when I do any underside work. :fs1:

Oh yeah,, dirt and rust piss me off too.. I hate having to do anything underside without glasses.. never thought about ear plugs though

[dunl]

rust, grease, dirt, and oil all fall from my trucks with enough regularity that I generally have earplugs in when I do any underside work. :fs1:

 

Good call Pete. I normally have glasses on for that reason, but the ear plugs make sense.

[freakjeep93]

You have a 1,260 piece tool set . one tool is missing. Guess which one.

the one you need .

it always happens . ive been needing my 10 milimetre wrench for awile and it walked away

 

rob i agree 100% with everything

[Eagle]

My friend, the retired AMC/Jeep service manager, has a sign in his garage at home:

 

 

LABOR RATES

-------------

Labor = $50 per hour

 

If you watch = $75 per hour

 

If you help = $100 per hour

 

If you tried to fix it first = $250 per hour

[WBKrazy]

if you need to remove something attached with two bolts, it will be directly behind something attached with twelve bolts...

[Pete M]

rust, grease, dirt, and oil all fall from my trucks with enough regularity that I generally have earplugs in when I do any underside work. :fs1:

 

Good call Pete. I normally have glasses on for that reason, but the ear plugs make sense.

 

 

I've found safety glasses to be barely better than my regular glasses at keeping falling debris out of my eyes. I reach for goggles if I'm doing anything that involves a grinder or a hammer (which is just about every project underneath my trucks). :thumbsup:

[jpnjim]

Great list.

 

Since stuff doesn't just drip in your eyes & ears, but sometimes your mouth too........

 

 

I've 'learned' the best & worst tasting things on my Jeep. :ack:

 

Worst: gear oil.

maybe there IS a second worst,

but compared to gear oil, the rest of the stuff tastes like ice cream.

 

 

Best: battery acid.

In some kind of mean trick of nature, your working on your Jeep, and (stupidly) put your fingers near your lips......

 

mmmm, what's so sweet? I don't remember....... :eek:

 

run to the hose, and rinse off. :yes:

 

#2 IMHO, is anti-freeze.

 

 

 

 

Worst thing ever to accidentally land on me?

 

either the weld slag that went into my ear (yes, you CAN hear ear wax siiizzzzzlllllllllleeee just as the pain hits.)

 

or the weld slag that bounced around inside my shirt for a while.

When I figured it must be a pretty big glob, and the pain wasn't going to stop

(sometimes the ouchies only last two or three seconds)...

 

I stood up, and the magic slag of pain found, and stayed inside my soft tender belly button. :eek:

 

 

 

Then I figured protective shoes while just soldering wasn't anything a tough guy welder should worry about....... :yes:

 

and soldered a bunch of electrical connections while wearing sandals. :no:

So after all those rolls of wire have gone through the machine, my #3 most painful drip was the molten solder drip that found it's way between two of my toes. :doh:

[dasbulliwagen]

I like the weld slag in the tennis shoe bit myself.... and sizzling my forehead on the hot cat converter was fun too! :doh:

[jpnjim]

I've found safety glasses to be barely better than my regular glasses at keeping falling debris out of my eyes. I reach for goggles if I'm doing anything that involves a grinder or a hammer (which is just about every project underneath my trucks). :thumbsup:

 

Since I'm down to one eye now ( :( )

sometimes I wear safety glasses, AND a whole face shield.

 

The shield is good for things like a grinding wheel exploding (safety glasses don't do such a great job at protecting the rest of your face),

but have had stuff bounce around behind the shield, and try to pin-pong/pinball their way to my eyeballs.

 

I might give the goggles a shot tho, maybe they won't fog up as much as safety glasses.

[Pete M]

maybe they won't fog up as much as safety glasses.

 

No, they pretty much fog up twice as much as open glasses. :( The face shield idea is intriguing. I may need to go buy another one (old one is all scratched up).

 

Another helpful tip is to get some good jackstands and a good jack and get your truck up in the air as high as possible. less chance of stuff getting into your facial orifices if you're not lying directly underneath the work area looking up. gravity is pretty reliable. :D

[freakjeep93]

ive got another one for ther list. anything that is heavy and you are removing from the bottom of a vehicle will fall on you. ouch gastanks hurt

[Automan2164]

I use goggles all day at work. Glasses just don't have the protection to keep the crap from dripping and rolling into your eyeballs. Also, its a lot harder for metal shavings to jump into your goggles... I look like an idiot, but I know I am safe. My goggles have little holes on the soft plastic part, and never fog for me... Also! A trick we use in the fire department is to smear shaving cream inside the mask, and wipe it off, don't clean it off... It leaves a film, and stops the fog. Works on the bathroom mirror too. Here's a few more I thought about today:

 

31. Its an unwritten rule that every creeper you have, must be driven over at least once.

32. The police department will not bring a car down for low coolant even though the light has been on for a month. They have to be so low on coolant they have no heat before they want to fix it.

33. Certain people have ways of breaking things that's good for a laugh every time.

34. As soon as you complain about someone stealing a tool, your co-worker will find it right where you left it.

 

Rob L.

[jpnjim]

34. As soon as you complain about someone stealing a tool, your co-worker will find it right where you left it.

 

THIS is something I learned recently,

and is a stone cold fact.

 

Moments after you accuse someone of stealing something,

it will magically appear in front of you.

 

I pretty much lose everything now (part of the 'having one eye' thing),

and have since learned to cut to the chase, and just accuse someone of theft immediately.

 

Then I can find the thing I lost, and get right back to work. :yes:

[dunl]

I use goggles all day at work. Glasses just don't have the protection to keep the crap from dripping and rolling into your eyeballs. Also, its a lot harder for metal shavings to jump into your goggles... I look like an idiot, but I know I am safe. My goggles have little holes on the soft plastic part, and never fog for me... Also! A trick we use in the fire department is to smear shaving cream inside the mask, and wipe it off, don't clean it off... It leaves a film, and stops the fog. Works on the bathroom mirror too. Here's a few more I thought about today:

 

Good tips. :clapping:

 

I have another thing learned:

 

No matter how much she loves you, honestly...she does not care about your experiences working on your rigs.

[jpnjim]

 

Good tips. :clapping:

 

I have another thing learned:

 

No matter how much she loves you, honestly...she does not care about your experiences working on your rigs.

 

 

Oh, I have an answer for this one too.

 

When doing the crappiest part of any work on HER Jeep, I usually find myself 'somehow' needing a hand with it. :yes:

 

15 minutes of this is usually enough for her to understand how much 'fun' it is laying on the cold ground in a driveway (no garage) working on 10+ year old trucks.

 

I like the freedom of never having had a car loan,

but laying under Jeeps older than what a typical college student owns, to keep them running, is the price you pay. :D

[Pete M]

I typically work on my friends' cars/houses for free, but I require them to be present and help out. Since most of my friends don't ever want to get their hands dirty, it cuts down on the amount of projects I end up doing. :D