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Democrat - Republican or Southerner < Funny >


BLHTAZ
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Okay, so this may paint our southern brothers in a bit of a tainted light, but you just might laugh too.

 

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

 

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

 

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

 

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children.

 

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the

corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises

the knife, and charges at you.

 

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

 

 

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What

do you do?

 

 

................

 

 

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

 

 

................

 

 

Democrat's Answer:

 

 

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

 

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

 

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 

Could we run away?

 

What does my wife think? What about the kids?

 

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

 

What does the law say about this situation?

 

Does the weapon have appropriate safety built into it?

 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

 

Should I call 9-1-1?

 

Why is this street so deserted?

 

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

 

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

 

.............................

 

 

 

Republican's Answer: BANG!

 

 

.............................

 

 

 

Southerner's Answer:

 

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

BANG! Click

 

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

 

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

 

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist."

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HAHAHA You really think two mag's where enough???? And, if it were a real redneck it would have been OOO buckshot, cause we dim old boys raised on shotguns!

 

Don't agree with the wife's "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist." She must be a Dayemocrat. The carcass would be good for the kid's target practice. :cheers:

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Wife and kids there? I'd be a republican. After all, I'm a good shot and I don't believe in wasting ammo or putting unnecessary wear and tear on a fine weapon.

However, if there were no outside witnesses, the first two shots would take out his kneecaps. Then when the screaming stopped, one shot in the package would get his attention again. When he was no longer any fun I'd bury his own knife just a little below the 10-ring to make sure it wouldn't end too quick. Then, while he was still aware of what was happening, I would desecrate his body in ways sure to impress the 72 virgins.

For this to be a perfect fantasy he would have to have a friend present. The friend would not be harmed at all and free to go tell his buddies about the things they weren't taught at camp.

I don't like them dudes. :mad:

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:D I got a kick out of the democrats answers. I don't know if a "republican" would have shot him. just based on the fact that theres alot of R.I.N.Os(republican in name only) around latley. I would say that shooting him would of been more of a conservatives/libretarians answer. Why waiste time shooting him in the knees and torturing him? Just shoot him in the head and enjoy the rest of the day :cheers:

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I'd be the guy taking him out slowly.

 

only when a limb goes numb would I stop shooting it. and I'd be grouping at the nerve centers, but beginning with the knee caps and elbows and ending with a shot through the nose or something along those lines. this would be (hopefully) a 20-30 minute process (if he's not a hemophiliac). I figure I should do as Ala apparently commands them, and do unto others as they'd do unto me.

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Wife and kids there? I'd be a republican. After all, I'm a good shot and I don't believe in wasting ammo or putting unnecessary wear and tear on a fine weapon.

However, if there were no outside witnesses, the first two shots would take out his kneecaps. Then when the screaming stopped, one shot in the package would get his attention again. When he was no longer any fun I'd bury his own knife just a little below the 10-ring to make sure it wouldn't end too quick. Then, while he was still aware of what was happening, I would desecrate his body in ways sure to impress the 72 virgins.

For this to be a perfect fantasy he would have to have a friend present. The friend would not be harmed at all and free to go tell his buddies about the things they weren't taught at camp. I don't like them dudes. :mad:

 

Hey Tracker - well said. You'll always be welcome in 'Bama! :cheers:

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Well since he's got his mouth open screaming, & I can't stand screaming, and being the expert shot as you stated, I'd give him a shot in the mouth from my 9mm Makarov which is alway in my jacket pocket to shut him up and stop him in his tracks. I would then explain to him that I had been having sex with his wife and daughters on Thrusday afternoons while he was gone to the local mosque for prayer. I then reminded him that if he truly wanted to be a martyr he could hurry home and kill his wife and daughters as his religion requires before the wax plug in the back of the hollowed out 9mm round he swallowed melted and released the arsenic. :mad:

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Well since he's got his mouth open screaming, & I can't stand screaming, and being the expert shot as you stated, I'd give him a shot in the mouth from my 9mm Makarov which is alway in my jacket pocket to shut him up and stop him in his tracks. I would then explain to him that I had been having sex with his wife and daughters on Thrusday afternoons while he was gone to the local mosque for prayer. I then reminded him that if he truly wanted to be a martyr he could hurry home and kill his wife and daughters as his religion requires before the wax plug in the back of the hollowed out 9mm round he swallowed melted and released the arsenic. :mad:

 

thought about this much? :rotfl2:

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