jimoshel Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Supposedly an "actual" ad--maybe, or not, but funny anyway. . .and a good example for the right to bear arms. Craig's list ad To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COMANCHEROB4WD Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 :clapping: :cheers: PURE AWESOMENESS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOrnbrod Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Excellent Jim. :cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86customanche Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 :clapping: Amazing story. Gave me a good laugh. :rotfl2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirteatr717 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Awesome story! :cheers: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whowey Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 And completely false..... http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geonovast Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 And completely false..... http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakal Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 great story. hope it happens more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incommando Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Completely inappropriate Jim. Punish yourself accordingly and post up when done. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Completely inappropriate Jim. Punish yourself accordingly and post up when done. :D I think a fifth of whiskey would be appropriate punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Completely inappropriate Jim. Punish yourself accordingly and post up when done. :D I think a fifth of whiskey would be appropriate punishment. Me too. Anybody want a help punish me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incommando Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I pay a large Bavarian woman named Helga to "punish" me if are are looking for recommendations... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Does she bring her own bottle? :brows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akula69 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Does she bring her own bottle? :brows: Always! its part of the deal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfreeman616 Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 That story may be false, but someone once tried to mug a Marine friend of mine at knife point. The would-be mugger ended up unconscious on the ground, moaning, when police arrived. By the way, my friend didn't have any "weapon" aside from his hands at the time. I guess that's what happens when you choose not only a Marine to attack, but one who happened to teach hand to hand combat in the Marines :D The cops later told him the mugger was wanted for various other local crimes and muggings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 I really didn't care whether it was false or not. I found it amusing and wanted to share. And as for Marines being tough. One night me, my brother, 3 cousins and 2 uncles found a Marine passed out in the park. We beat the stuffing out of the guy. :shake: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incommando Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I have seen more than one full of themselves and freshly trained person like that handed their hat in a bar fight. Seems someone who does heavy manual labor for a living and who drinks/fights regularly has an edge... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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