To the guys that have gone thru a divorce with kids......

[chicofuentes0224]

How long does it take until it gets easier?

[HOrnbrod]

I hesitate to respond to this Chico-san. Kind of hard to answer with the limited details you provided. :D For me I initiated it because there was nothing left. I lost everything through the efforts of her scumbag lawyer except the bills, then started again from scratch with a good non-American lady, and am now living happily ever after 20+ years later. And the original kid, my son, is my best friend. Sometimes change is good mate. Just takes time. :cheers:

[carnuck]

25 years later, I'm still dealing with the BS and guilt trips she laid on the kids. Should've stepped up MUCH sooner.

[freakjeep93]

I'm the kid that went through a divorce.its not easy for anyone, i believe the kid gets hit almost the hardest. my life was very hard untill i started making desicions for myself. i now live VERY happily with my father but still keep in regular cintact with my mother. even though i left momto live with dad we still love eachother and our relationshio if anythig has gotten better since i moved. it will get better it just takes time.

[dasbulliwagen]

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but the movie, "War of the Roses" with Michael Douglas, Cathleen Turner and Danny Devito is a good cautionary tale. Mostly saying to just let her have everything and start yourself over clean. But with kids I'm sure it different. There is no easy answer.... just time. Good luck.

[Silver88]

My friend, I went through it 13 years ago( and counting). Now every situation is different, but in my case, I had to wait a year to file( was in Maryland). She filed first( saved me $ 125). Could have been over in two weeks, but she and her man-hater mouth piece tried to reneg on the separation agreement( taxes and who got what deductions), so had to wait another seven mos for a hearing. Judge ruled in my favor, said since I was voluntarily paying child support, too bad for them.

To say is was a bitter divorce is an under statement. Feuded in court a few times over support, Showed she was a liar , and came out on top.

As the kids got older , things got a little better. My son is in college and wants little to do with his mother. My daughter is 14, but she's still too afraid to tell her mom what she wants to do. Asked if she wanted to go with us to Fla. for Thanksgiving, she said yes, but the wicked witch said no. Just being vindictive.

Met my current wife 4years ago, been married 2 1/2 years now. Had too bust my butt and go through a lot of crap to get where I'm at today. Do I wish I had maybe done somethings differently, yes. Should I have fought for custody?, maybe.

Don't know how much this helps ya Chico, but it does get better with time. Could be relatively short, or it may take awhile. Best of luck to you. :cheers:

[mvusse]

Been divorced for five years now. Shared parenting and we live within walking distance so my 13 year old can walk back and forth. I tell her to clean her room, she walks to her mother's house. She tells her to clean her room there, she comes back here again :roll: Her older sister is in college now and about to move out and get married. Guess she didn't learn anything from her parent :nuts:

 

I wouldn't say we are on good terms, but we get along. Doesn't sound much like your case, though. In Ohio only one of the parents has to even just mention shared parenting, and that is what it's going to be unless one of the parties is proven to be an unfit parent.

 

Good luck.

[DirtyComanche]

Really sorry to hear. Do what you can, work hard, and you'll come out on top. It's not a battle I'd ever want to be in, but I've seen it. Hang in there, eventually you'll get to an awkward truce.

[Unglar]

Went thru it as a child (5 yo) then did it to my kids at about the same age. That was 15 years ago. When I divorced I used my expereince as a child as a go by for what not to do.

 

If you cannot work things out with the spouse then end it, if you try to prolong it the kids will suffer. Once it is over try to stay close, it is hard because you don't want to be around the ex but it really helps the kids. Try not to be negative about the ex around the kids, this can only hurt them in the long run. Be truthful with the kids.

 

Good Luck!

[Drahcir495]

Sorry to hear that Chico.