jimoshel Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor."Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1.'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift.""Not to worry," said the father."Important thing is we're all together today."Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad.I just flew in from LA between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you.""It's nothing," said the father."We're glad you were able to come."Just then the daughter arrived."Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."After they had finished dessert, the father said,"There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time."You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college.Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."The three children gasped and said,"WHAT? You mean we're bastards?""Yep", said the father,"Cheap ones too..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJVA Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Could this be what my future holds? Haha Hello. New member in VA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comanche County Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser54 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 A man receives a text from his neighbor: "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, I have probably been getting more than you. I do not get it at home -but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't, ever happen again.” The man, anguished and betrayed, went directly into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife dead. A few moments later, a second text came in, "Bloody Autospell !! Sorry Bob, the second sentence should refer to "your Wifi’." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJVA Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Two old boys are driving in the country one Sunday taking In the scenery with a cooler full of some chilly bottles of beer. The driver catches a glimpse of a speed trap and knows he's about to get pulled over and they've had plenty of beer at this point. So he looks to his buddy and says quick get rid of these beers! But wait. First peel a label and stick it on your arm. The puzzled passenger peels one for each of them and gets rid of the rest. They get pulled for speeding and when the cops walks up to the drivers door he beholds these two fools and asks You boys been drinking? The driver quickly says No Sir! We're on the patch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incommando Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Why is a giraffe's neck so long? He's feet stink ( told to me be a 4 year old) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NHMJXJ Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Old thread revived. "Wifi." Hysterical! I'll get some mileage out of that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser54 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Old thread revived. "Wifi." Hysterical! I'll get some mileage out of that one! One of my favorites! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComancheKid45 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 That's awful but so funny!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyav8r Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Young couple moves to a new town and starts looking for a church. They visit several, agree on one and go to speak to the pastor about joining. He tells them that in order to join the church they will have to read the Bible every day for 30 days and abstain from sex for the same time. The third Sunday the pastor asks them how they're doing. The husband tells him they've been reading the Bible morning and evening. He says "That's good, but how are you doing on the sex issue?" Husband replies "We were doing really good until yesterday. My wife had on a short skirt and no panties. She bent over to look at something and I just lost all control". The pastor said "I'm sorry but you can't come to church here". And the husband said "Yeh, and we can't go back to Home Depot either". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now