Creationism:

[Sir Sam]

This is how it really happened:

By melindataub | Published: October 29, 2009

 

 

God: Gosh its dark in here.

7 days ago

 

God: There thats better.

7 days ago

 

God: Hey guys I'm finally on twitter! Whats up?

7 days ago

 

God: guys?

7 days ago

 

God: oh right. i’m the only thing in existence, haha.

7 days ago

 

God: shut up i wasnt talking 2 you RT @Satan I TOO EXIST

7 days ago

 

God: BOOORREEDD with endless void gonna make some stuff

7 days ago

 

God: Hey look what I did today! Separated the darkness from the light. Universe looks like a black and white cookie.

7 days ago

 

God: I shall call the light day and the darkness Eileen.

7 days ago

 

God: Darkness doesnt look like an Eileen. Lets go with night

7 days ago

 

God: Also i created heaven & earth.

7 days ago

 

God: also i created apostrophes but I'm not gonna use them

7 days ago

 

God: thats enough creating for now. Catch ya tomorrow

7 days ago

 

God: RT @Satan: WHAT IS “TOMORROW”

7 days ago

 

God: oh i forgot 2 mention i created time too. Busy day.

7 days ago

 

God: kind of lame creating 2day. Created a firmament. Not sure what that is

6 days ago

 

God: OMme so much 2 do 2day you guys! Got to bring 4th land from the waters AND create plants and trees. What should i do first?!

5 days ago

 

God: should have done land first. plants sank

5 days ago

 

God: fixed! Trees now ON TOP of land.

5 days ago

 

God: sorry no tweets yesterday guys. Made the sun moon & stars. turned out 2 be more work than i expected. Theyre bigger than they look

3 days ago

 

God: another busy day. Made @beastsofthesea, @birdsoftheair, and best of all: @penguins. Those turned out so well.

3 days ago

 

God: made some more kinds of penguins.

3 days ago

 

God: Poll: What else should i make? a. beasts of the land b. creatures in my own image c. more penguins

2 days ago

 

God: Answer my poll!

2 days ago

 

God: maybe it was a mistake to create the internet b4 invention of computers

2 days ago

 

God: all right penguins it is. Yay!

2 days ago

 

God: oops. Penguins don’t like the desert.

2 days ago

 

God: or Indiana.

2 days ago

 

God: or the sky.

2 days ago

 

God: ill try the rainforest. Everything thrives in the rainforest.

2 days ago

 

God: Not penguins.

2 days ago

 

God: screw it. Made a bunch of other beasts of the land. Not as awesome as penguins but much less picky.

2 days ago

 

God: also created fake fossils and planted them in the ground 2 make the earth appear much older than it is. Just a little practical joke.

2 days ago

 

God: i need more followers.

2 days ago

 

God: #FollowFriday @adam @eve

2 days ago

 

God: @adam @eve I am the LORD your God who separated the light from the darkness. You shall have no other God before me for I am the LORD your Go

2 days ago

 

God: $%ing character limits. Point is, yay! I made you! Hi! Do what i say.

2 days ago

 

God: @adam: such as #noteatingapples.

2 days ago

 

God: @adam what do u mean why? Because I'm ur god and i said so.

2 days ago

 

God: @adam why r u bugging me about this? u can have all the mangoes u want and theyre way better.

2 days ago

 

God: @adam well youre just going to have to take my word for it.

2 days ago

 

God: @adam WHAT is ur DAMAGE with this apple thing? Eves not tweeting about apples. Shes just off – um –

2 days ago

 

God: @eve Hey!

2 days ago

 

God: @adam @eve: EPIC FAIL at #noteatingapples. Both of u r BANNED

2 days ago

 

God: so yesterday was really stressful. I'm taking a break today. No more tweets til tomorrow.

1 day ago

 

God: Check it out, baby panda sneezing! http://tr.I'm/DsZ5 (took a break from my break to create YouTube.)

1 day ago

[jbhill]

:yes: :yes: :rotfl:

[dasbulliwagen]

Saw the title and thought "here we go again!" Then I saw what was up. Good Job!

[freakjeep93]

rofl omg thats funny as hell

[Automan2164]

Whats a twitter? :hmm:

 

Rob L. :D

[Geonovast]

Whats a twitter? :hmm:

 

Rob L. :D

 

If you never ask that question, you'll never know the answer, and you'll be a much, much happier person.

[dfreeman616]

:agree: forget you heard about twitter...

[Eagle]

Saw the title and thought "here we go again!" Then I saw what was up. Good Job!

Ditto.

[dunl]

That's excellent. :bowdown:

[Sir Sam]

Saw the title and thought "here we go again!" Then I saw what was up. Good Job!

Ditto.

 

Ya, I was thinking of the title "god twitters creation" but then I remember that thread we had a few weeks back and figured you guys would open it expecting something else, then find this, something of a punchline in and of itself.

[Oizarod115]

Saw the title and thought "here we go again!" Then I saw what was up. Good Job!

Ditto.

 

Ditto. Ditto.