I saw Jesus!

[shelbyluvv]

Jesus stopped by today when I was working on the MJ. Nice guy but the language barrier was kinda tough to get through. I think he said,

 

"Hay mang, chu wanza sell you chairkee truck?"

[MJRemi]

I always wondered why illustrations and films portrayed Jesus as Caucasian when, obviously, he's of Hispanic decent. :doh:

[jimoshel]

In the early days of printing, they couldn't print color or shades. Just Black and White. It just stuck.

[daking]

I thought this was going to be about death wobble. I got that at about 70MPH, I thought for sure I was going to see him in person..

[shelbyluvv]

I got DW towing Onyx home with a lifted WJ on a tow dolly once. I was running about 65 mph when it happened. I needed to change my skivies after that one!

[TheJeepNut]

A burglar broke into a house one night.  As he flicked his light around, looking for valuables, suddenly a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.  After a while, hearing nothing more, he shook his head and continued.  But just as he was pulling the stereo out to disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard...
'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'You're gonna warn me, huh? And just who are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'