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A little humor to start the day of with


jimoshel
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A  fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the  Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
 
Hoping  to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to  find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift  display rack - selling ties.
The  Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"
 
The  Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like  to buy a tie? They are only $50."
 
The  Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not  need such an over-priced western adornment. I spit  on your ties. I need water! 
 
"Sorry,  I have none, just ties - pure silk, and only $50
"Pahh!  A curse on your ties! I should wrap one around
your  scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you
but I must conserve my energy and find water!"
 
"Okay,"  said the little old Jewish man. It does not matter that  you do not want to buy a tie from me, or that you hate  me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you  that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over  that  hill to the east for about   two miles, you will find a restaurant.  It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go In  Peace."
 
Cursing  him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away,  over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and  gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!"

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About four thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

 

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about
healthcare plans, the economy, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. ... I called a Suicide Hotline.

I had to press 1 for English.
  I was connected to a call center in Pakistan I told them I was suicidal.   They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

Folks, we're screwed.

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The price we pay for having a free society where ANY body can vote, whether they understand the system or not. In 1962 I was standing in line at the PX and there were two officers wives behind me. One said to the other that she was going to vote for Kennedy because she thought he was cute. My GOD! Here is a man that can send her husband off to war to be killed and she's going to vote for him because he's cute.

 Getting off the soap box.

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The price we pay for having a free society where ANY body can vote, whether they understand the system or not. In 1962 I was standing in line at the PX and there were two officers wives behind me. One said to the other that she was going to vote for Kennedy because she thought he was cute. My GOD! Here is a man that can send her husband off to war to be killed and she's going to vote for him because he's cute.

 Getting off the soap box.

 

Jim,  You and I are both getting old.  Memory is the second thing to go!  JFK was elected president in November, 1960, not 1962.  And you have to admit, JFK had a much better WW2 war story than Nixon. Yes, we do pay a price for a free society. 

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I thought there was something wrong with that date. Just couldn't remember what it was. I was in Spain in 1960 and I remember the Spanish making such a big deal over a Catholic being elected. Now if I could just remember what's the first thing to go. :dunno:

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I thought there was something wrong with that date. Just couldn't remember what it was. I was in Spain in 1960 and I remember the Spanish making such a big deal over a Catholic being elected. Now if I could just remember what's the first thing to go. :dunno:

 

Wish I could help, but.. have C.R.S. also.

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I thought there was something wrong with that date. Just couldn't remember what it was. I was in Spain in 1960 and I remember the Spanish making such a big deal over a Catholic being elected. Now if I could just remember what's the first thing to go. :dunno:

Wish I could help, but.. have C.R.S. also.

CRS?...Try CRAFT, Can't Remember A F****** Thing!
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