Rokhound Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Are there any single dads out there or dads that have full custody of there kids? If so what kinda of price did you end up with I no that all this changes according to the case but pall park it if you could. So is there any one been thru this or is going thru this can give me some insight of what to expect and what I should do to prepare for this. I no that this is the place for non-tec and stuff so if this get out of controll please delete this. And or if this offends anyone please delete the whole post Thanks Watson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisty Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 My neighbor is a single dad. He is having a helluva time trying to get more time with his daughter. The mom has some mental issues(:nuts:), and can wreak havok on his schedule, and wallot. He is always running up to Maine (~2.5 hours away) to pick up or drop off his daughter. Its not fun :cry: I wish you the best of luck Watson. Stay strong and try to keep a positive attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokhound Posted May 6, 2007 Author Share Posted May 6, 2007 that is the whole mind set man so we will see what happens this is my ex-girl freind not my ex-wife so that might help but then agian I have no clue what to do you how to do it. I just need to stay cool about stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisty Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 that is the whole mind set man so we will see what happens this is my ex-girl freind not my ex-wife so that might help but then agian I have no clue what to do you how to do it. I just need to stay cool about stuff. Yeah, if you get overwhelmed by it you will get discouraged. Always have somthing that you enjoy doing (Jeeping ;) ) so when you need to cool off or lighten your spirits you can go do that activity. I'm sure that you aren't the only guy who has gone through somthing like this. Is there a local support group that you could contact to get some info? Maybe there is a network of people that have a meeting once or twice a month to discuss their issues like this? :wavey: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
88MJay Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Been there... done that. My son is now 8 and I am re-married. But, there were a few years in there where it was just him and I. It's not bad at all. It's actually wonderful. Sure... it cuts into your social life big time... but you won't even care. The joy of spending all that time with your child is well worth whatever sacrifices you have to make. Don't get me wrong... it can be lonely, frustrating and at times depressing doing it alone but when your kid is laying on your shoulder you'll smile. Kudos to you man for stepping up and taking on the responsibility. Not all guys are true dads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokhound Posted May 6, 2007 Author Share Posted May 6, 2007 that is for sure me and my wife are hell bent on doing what is right for our son and yes i said our son my wife does not look at him as her stepkid but as her own So i got a hell of a wife to back me thru this and that will help alot. And it is good to no that there is a guy that has won this battle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob S Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Been there... done that. My son is now 8 and I am re-married. But, there were a few years in there where it was just him and I. It's not bad at all. It's actually wonderful. Sure... it cuts into your social life big time... but you won't even care. The joy of spending all that time with your child is well worth whatever sacrifices you have to make. Don't get me wrong... it can be lonely, frustrating and at times depressing doing it alone but when your kid is laying on your shoulder you'll smile. Kudos to you man for stepping up and taking on the responsibility. Not all guys are true dads. Well put, and I admire you for that. I never had a dad, so I always figured I would wait to have a kid. Wait till I can give that child everything I never had. Was married for 7yrs before we had our daughter. Its the most amazing thing, my daughter is now the center of my life. I can't give you any insight on being a single dad, I can tell you that little one needs all you can give. Get the best lawyers you can afford, that is very important, good legal advice is key. Every state is different when it comes to these things. No matter the outcome, stay involved, the rewards are ten fold the hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokhound Posted May 6, 2007 Author Share Posted May 6, 2007 The whole kid thing is great he is the oldest out of 3 ( my kids are 6,5,and 4) me and the wife have 2 girls and man I tell you are they are a hand full some day but when the youngest girl who is 4 goes and picks up a wrench and starts working on the MJ that had to be my proudest moments in my life.(She was take the lug nut off with a 13mm open wrench :popcorn: ) one of many with these 3 man you never no what there going to come up with. Yeah this going to be a long haul and that is ok. The end will out way any and all sacrifices and I no this. Even if I don’t win this battle I will win the war when he looks around and his mom is no where to be found his dad will be there beside him all the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob S Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 The whole kid thing is great he is the oldest out of 3 ( my kids are 6,5,and 4) me and the wife have 2 girls and man I tell you are they are a hand full some day but when the youngest girl who is 4 goes and picks up a wrench and starts working on the MJ that had to be my proudest moments in my life.(She was take the lug nut off with a 13mm open wrench :popcorn: ) one of many with these 3 man you never no what there going to come up with. Yeah this going to be a long haul and that is ok. The end will out way any and all sacrifices and I no this. Even if I don’t win this battle I will win the war when he looks around and his mom is no where to be found his dad will be there beside him all the way. :cheers: Great to hear!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 that is the whole mind set man so we will see what happens this is my ex-girl freind not my ex-wife so that might help but then agian I have no clue what to do you how to do it. I just need to stay cool about stuff. It's unclear when you ask about price tag if you mean the cost of going through a legal proceeding, or the cost of raising a kid by yourself. In either case, there is no "one size fits all" answer. Each case is different. I have not been through either, thankfully, but a friend of mine has been involved in a custody battle with his ex-GF for literally years. The woman is a head case. It began when the kid was born -- she refused to list my friend as the father, even though there was no question. She just didn't list a father. My friend spent a couple or three years and several thousand dollars just getting himself declared the legal father. That only set the stage for the repeated battles over her failure to abide by court-ordered visitation and periodic custody arrangements. If you don't have an attorney -- get one. But don't bother asking how much to expect it to cost, because it's not anything you OR your attorney can control. If the other party wants to make things difficult for you, it will be exceedingly costly and the only option is to bail out and surrender. Not what you wanted to hear, I suspect, but it's the fact. Don't overlook the fact that the courts are stacked in favor of the women in cases where child welfare is concerned. It is VERY difficult to prove to a court that a father would be a better parent/home environment than the mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokhound Posted May 7, 2007 Author Share Posted May 7, 2007 Eagle thanks and I guess what I was wanting was cost per hour for a lawyer. The one I am getting is around $150 an hour :headpop: man I need to get paid like that. I go to the bank on Monday to take a small loan out for the lawyer retainer fee. And we will see where this goes. :popcorn: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CEThomas Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 That is not bad if that is a flat price that also covers in court time. Charles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakal Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 what a bunch of cool posts. your all right- raising your kid or kids is the most important thing you will do. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazzx Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 Took me 4 years and 30k, but I got full custody of my boy. He is 8 now and i have since remarried. Cuts your social life down? How about cuts it out almost completely. Which isnt really a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
comanchedude Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Hello I divorced in 1993 and fought for cutody of my three kids and although it was not as hard as expected,it was at the time of the divorce and cost me a couple grand for the attorney fees. Now as I take it your seeking custody after some amount of time since your separation from you ex ? One thing your will be faced with is the courts usually need a reason to change the custody status of the children after they have been in the custody of one parent for any length of time. If the court can’t find a good reason to change the placement of a child they will normally not make any change.(no matter how much you spend) So I would think it could be somewhat difficult to get custody changed unless their mother is shown to be un-fit or the best interest of the children is not currently being met by the mother having custody. Now none of this matters much if you get the ex to agree ,then it would cost almost nothing. But all your questions can be answered by talking to a lawyer and that is usually free for a consultation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oizarod115 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 my step-dad divorced his ex-wife when his kids were little, don't know how old... but he got custody and raised a son and daughter by himself as a pool-cleaner-dude... I'm sure you can do it man. :bowdown: to all you guys who stuck with your kids... not all dad's are like that :roll: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rokhound Posted May 8, 2007 Author Share Posted May 8, 2007 thanks for all the support i thought this would have went down hill on any other site one more reason COMANCHECLUB ROCKS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Eagle thanks and I guess what I was wanting was cost per hour for a lawyer. The one I am getting is around $150 an hour :headpop: $150 is a headpop? Man, here in the land of steady habits attorneys charge $400 an hour and up. Even at rates like that, it seems every week or so I read an article about some attorney who embezzled a few hundred thou from some elderly client's estate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
attaboybob Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 When my daughter was in 7th grade, her mom dropped her off at school and said she is leaving daddy. Nice mother! I got the divorce papers and she split. Luckily she didn't fight me for custody. First thing to realize is your attorney gets paid the longer he drags it out. I was able to get my ex to meet me at the mall to discuss issues. When we had enough, we'd walk away. But, we both knew it would be cheaper to try to resolve these issues without the attorneys writing letters back and forth. The attorneys hated us getting along with each other. Don't let them make you guys hate each other. Remember she is your kids mom. Call her mom by her name in front of the kids. Don't refer to her as your ex. Kids don't like that. Trust me, things will level out over time. Your kid will realize in time what happened and why. Lots of hugs. For you, go to book stores. They have self help books for people going through divorce. I had a stack of them. While your at it find a decent cook book. My daughter is still with me. She is still in College and loves me more than the world. Get out and take long walks, it worked wonders for me. If you belong to a church, let them know. They will help out as well. Good Luck. BOB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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