dfreeman616 Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 found this on another site, thought i'd share :cheers: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:00 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk ! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing ! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 2:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary: Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally challenged! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeepcoMJ Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 holy f*ing sh*t man that was funny as hell! I am sending that to EVERYONE i know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pingpong Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 That was hilarious I won 2 dogs and a cat and that describes their lives perfectly :nuts: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildman Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 :rotf: :jump: Now that's funny :rotfl2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 i'm not sure who wrote this, but i want to know how they got into my house to watch my dog and cat for inspiration. i know the cat thinks the dog is retarded. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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