jimoshel Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 With impending doom facing us all, the end of the world, I have noticed a glaring shortage of a needed service. INSURANCE. That's right. Insurance. Not one insurance company is offering a dooms day package. I intend to fill that need. I will be selling DDIP's (Doomsday Insurance Packages) from the tail gate of my MJ which will be parked in the alley off Main St between 5th and 6th streets, thus eliminating overhead allowing me to offer more reasonable rates. I will be offering life insurance for you and your loved ones as well as property damages. All MJ trucks receive a 15% discount on comprehensive coverage. If you or anyone insured under this policy loses their life as a direct result of the world ending your beneficiary receives 10 times the face value of the policy. If any MJ receives any damage as a result of the world ending the pay off is 100% of the policy face value. How can anyone refuse an offer like this? Sorry. Due to the nature of this offer only gold coins will be accepted as premium payments. Don't delay, send those coins today. When you feel the earth trembling 'neath your feet it will be to late. Jims' Insurance, Ltd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJRemi Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 You're gonna need a mascot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpnjim Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 You can already buy an insurance policy to take care of your pets if/when you are Raptured. As long as Fido, Flopsey & Fluffy are OK, who cares about material belongings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirteatr717 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Maybe you'll insure me Jim! The lowest rate I could find for My camaro without any coverage just liability is 5,800 for 6 months!!!!!!! I've never been in an accident or received a ticket.... (knocks on wood) Screw insurance companies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpnjim Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Maybe you'll insure me Jim! The lowest rate I could find for My camaro without any coverage just liability is 5,800 for 6 months!!!!!!! I've never been in an accident or received a ticket.... (knocks on wood) Screw insurance companies! WOW I'm paying ~$1k per year per car here, and THAT is too much. $5800 ought to include the car, and, um, highly skilled female accompaniment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 HOLY CHET!!, I hit the ceiling when they charged me $265 for 3 vehicles for 6 months. :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirteatr717 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I know its because of my age but still! I got another quote in from geico the other day... Check out how much us young folk new yorkians are getting ripped off! :headpop: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbrand Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I bought an A4 used when I was 22. Geico/Progressive wanted $250/month or more per month, but State Farm gave me a rate of $120/mo for better coverage. Pays to shop around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirteatr717 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 No matter where I go the lowest it'll be is around $750-900 a month! I don't even make that much to eat lunch once a week and pay for insurance like that! Between the gas prices up here and this crap my bicycle is looking pretty sweet! I'm currently under my parents plan with the jeep for like 1300 a year and it'd be closer to 3800 even on my parents plan for the camaro.. So it'll just have to sit in my driveway until it's old enough for classic insurance or to get a quote from Jim :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mvusse Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I pay $75 per month for three vehicles, 0 deductible comprehensive on all of them. (I go through pretty much a windshield a year). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewfieMJ Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 With impending doom facing us all, the end of the world, I have noticed a glaring shortage of a needed service. INSURANCE. That's right. Insurance. Not one insurance company is offering a dooms day package. I intend to fill that need. I will be selling DDIP's (Doomsday Insurance Packages) from the tail gate of my MJ which will be parked in the alley off Main St between 5th and 6th streets, thus eliminating overhead allowing me to offer more reasonable rates. I will be offering life insurance for you and your loved ones as well as property damages. All MJ trucks receive a 15% discount on comprehensive coverage. If you or anyone insured under this policy loses their life as a direct result of the world ending your beneficiary receives 10 times the face value of the policy. If any MJ receives any damage as a result of the world ending the pay off is 100% of the policy face value. How can anyone refuse an offer like this? Sorry. Due to the nature of this offer only gold coins will be accepted as premium payments. Don't delay, send those coins today. When you feel the earth trembling 'neath your feet it will be to late. Jims' Insurance, Ltd. Jim , you and I would make good partners . My company is just introducing "Heaven bucks" !! That's right !! Heaven bucks . You have all this money just sitting there and we all know "you can't take it with you" But wait , NOW YOU CAN ! As a limited time introductory offer , we will exchange your useless earth money for 50 cents to the dollar . That's right folks , double your wealth when you die . This will guarentee you'll have the wealth to set yourself up good in heaven . Twice as good as you ever did here on earth . Imagine the possibilities Remember , this is an introductory offer so act fast So if me and Jim partner up , here's what we'll offer . Let's say you buy a million dollar policy off Jim . For a small fee(10%) , I will convert this over to heaven bucks so you'll have money for your afterlife adventures with the family . Not just that , act now with the combo premium plan and you will also qualify for the 50 cent to the dollar offer . That's right folks , buy your policy from Jim , and I'll double it's value !!! AMAZING OFFER !!! Crazy , yes , but THERE'S MORE !! We will also have our own gate set up in the event of a Doomsday so our premium plan customers can enjoy no wait times and shuttle service (complementry beverage services) from the gate to your destination . We are practically giving things away here ! Have you been bad . No worries , we have you covered . We also offer Devil Dollars . Unfortunately , we were unable to negotiate an introductory offer so it's a straight exchange , dollar for dollar with a currancy exchange fee +10% .You don't want to be caught there without the loot . Prices there have gone to hell :yes: There's no limits on what we can convert , gold , silver , properties and the list goes on . Email with any questions 24/7 Act fast , this is a limited time offer . Brought to you by the makers of ALL CREATION .com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 I'm in. Let me talk to the ol boy downstairs. With all the business I've sent his way and the fact we're on a first name basis I think I can convince him to be receptive to the plan. :brows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now