jimoshel Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Husband Down A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 'It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.' On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.' :rotf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 They don't sell alcohol in the walmarts here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakjeep93 Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 lol thats good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kastein Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 You heard that BP plugged the oil spill right? ... they put a giant wedding ring on the pipe and it stopped putting out almost immediately... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpdocdave Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 They don't sell alcohol in the walmarts here. walmarts here do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 They don't sell alcohol in the walmarts here. walmarts here do Its the state laws that vary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 Jethro and Ellie Mae, a young hill billy couple gets married. They go to the big city for their honeymoon. 2 days later Jethro's dad is sitting on the veranda when he see's his son coming up the road, alone. Jethro gets to the porch and sits down on the steps. "Howdy Paw" "Howdy son" pause "so where's yer bride at son"? pause "Well paw. Me an Ellie got down to that there big city an we got a room at a hotel. Went up to the room and got undressed and got in bed. Started fooling around getting ready to do what we went there for an I found out she was a virgin. So I left her" Long pause as the ole man thinks this over :Well son , I reckon I can't blame ya fer leaving her. If she ain't good enuf fer her own kin, she ain't good enuf fer you" :waving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 MURDER AT WAL-MART... Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor ... The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called t he police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store .. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared... (You're going to hate me for this ...) 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawn Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 do NOT quit your day job. - lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 do NOT quit your day job. - lol. You mean copy and pasting chain emails? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimoshel Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 Life is just to D*mn short to take it to serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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