Sir Sam Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 best website ever: Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML Bwahahahahaha: Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
64 Cheyenne Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 alright...................So what does the acronym FML mean? :hmm: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 alright...................So what does the acronym FML mean? :hmm: phuck my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brdhntr Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 so what's the website? :dunno: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 so what's the website? :dunno: http://www.fmylife.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLHTAZ Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 What a waste of time. Anyone that finds anything amusing, entertaining or pertinent to them in a website like that needs some serious help :shake: :dunno: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
89eliminator Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying" I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said he "I don't know what youre talking about Megan". My name isnt Megan, not even close. FML :rotf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasbulliwagen Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 Yeah its funny, but does this really need to be here.... most of that is really not family oriented. I don't mean to be a Butt hurt, but this is a Jeep MJ forum, not a place to post dirty jokes. :shake: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
89eliminator Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 The Pub is anything goes (well not anything, but most things :thumbsup: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Sam Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 Yeah its funny, but does this really need to be here.... most of that is really not family oriented. I don't mean to be a Butt hurt, but this is a Jeep MJ forum, not a place to post dirty jokes. :shake: The Pub is anything goes (well not anything, but most things :thumbsup: ) While I can agree with that most of the comments have nothing verbally that is "dirty" or obscene. Course some of that may your interpretation, I do not find the words "sex" "nipple" "playboy" to be intrinsically dirty, but others might. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now