SJOTD

[jpnjim]

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

 

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.

He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....

 

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

 

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!" "I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife ha s been languishing in the ICU!

It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care, and you will be her care giver!"

 

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

 

The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just ****ing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

[-600JeepMJ]

:nuts:

[deziped]

Sounds like a doctor. Mines out on the course every Thur afternoon. Screw the patients

[-600JeepMJ]

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

 

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

 

 

....He Won....

:banana:

[WBKrazy]

guy goes into a bordello on a thursday evening and selects 4 girls for the night. upon waking in the morning he goes to settle the bill, and is told "there's no charge, have a nice day!" so he goes on his way... and the next tuesday he goes to the same bordello, selects the same 4 girls, but when he awakes in the morning he is told there's a $700 bill... irate, he screams at the madam, "but i was here last thursday and picked the same 4 girls and there was no charge, so why now?" and she says "well, thursdays we're on cable...."