Ode to a mechanic

[dasbulliwagen]

I may have posted this before a long time ago, but something made me think of it, so here it is again!

 

 

I’m a journeyman technician

In an automotive shop

I’m supposed to know the answers

From the bottom to the top

 

I should diagnose the problem

With just a single look

And if I fail to fix it

You think that I’m a crook

 

When I charge you for my labor

You scream and moan

And even call and threaten me

Upon the telephone

 

But technology in the auto

Is advancing every year

And for the systems I must know

I simply have no peer

 

I must be more electrician

Than the man who wires your home

For the wiring system in your car

Outshines the Astrodome

 

Then refrigeration systems

That I’m supposed to know

Have more gadgets than your home

To make the darn thing go

 

Electronics now have made the scene

And more are coming yet

The car models already exceed

Your television set

 

In hydraulics I have more to learn

Than a specialist in pumps

There are brakes and shock absorbers

To help absorb the bumps

 

Torque converters and transmissions

With servos, valves and gears,

With models by the hundreds

Introduced in recent years

 

Fuel systems of a hundred kinds

I must adjust and meter

Each far more complicated

Than your furnace or water heater

 

The principles of combustion

I must know from A to Z

And gear trains that will far exceed

Most all machinery

 

I’m in welding, I’m in plumbing

For water, vacuum, oil, and fuel,

Compared to me, a plumber

Is a kid in grammar school

 

There’s models, makes and systems

Some seven hundred strong

And new ones coming up each year

To help the scheme along

 

Now compare me to the doctor

Whose prices make mine meager

Yet folks revere his expertise

Ever more impressed and eager

 

The human body hasn’t changed

In twenty thousand years

And every model works the same

From the ankles to the ears

 

There’s years of school in his field

And almost none in mine

I’ve learned by practicing my trade

And I read what I can find

 

There’s new equipment and technology

And medicines for sure

But this is true in my field too

As much or even more

 

There’s lots of books he has to read

His procedures to define

But for every page in his field

There’s twenty-five in mine

 

There’s no comebacks and no wait

You pay for what you get

And come back and pay again

If he hasn’t fixed it yet

 

His mistakes are often buried

While mine come back for free

And he plays golf on Wednesday

While my customers hassle me

 

We spend millions of tax dollars

Sending kids to medical school

But if you ask for some in my field

You’re treated like a fool

 

Everybody has one body

But no one has more

But when it comes to autos

You may have three or four

 

But you’ll go right on complaining

Of the way I run my show

With no appreciation

For the things I have to know

 

And you’ll take your high school dropouts

And you’ll shove them off to us

And expect them to be experts

While you rant and rave and fuss

 

And when your car cannot be serviced

I’ll not hang my head in shame

So you’d best wake up America

And find out who’s to blame.