oil pan gasket

[SW86]

yes, another oil pan question. alright so ive went through three or four gaskets trying to get it right. everytime the sump part on the backside of the pan will go into the pan or poke out of the pan when i tighten down. ive tried the grey gasket and the blue gasket, they seem the same, but did both anyway. i put RTV on the pan, the gasket on the pan and let dry a little before putting it back in. it seemed to work but i forgot to put the oil pump back in :wall: it was out of sight so you know it was out of mind at the time. well when i took it off the sump part of the gasket ripped just like before when i tried to re-use. my point to this is, is there a trick or something to get it to do right? I'm really getting tired of doing it over and over and over, plus at twenty something bucks its not cheap either. any thoughts?? i really need help on this one guys